I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I came so hard my ears popped.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
