a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
