I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm too high and old for this...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize