Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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