and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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