And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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