we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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