I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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