He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
