But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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