so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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