Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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