He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
