Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
