shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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