i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
