I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You ruined the universe
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
