First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
