p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
