you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
now i know why i became what i already was.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
