i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize