i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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