New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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