There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
