ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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