I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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