I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize