I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
