I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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