hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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