why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
