Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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