champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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