Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
