yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
