Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
this hospital has no fireball
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
