Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
