suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
