goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
