I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
