you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
