that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
