is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
