yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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