normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
