What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
