Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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