just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
