The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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