no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
