do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
