Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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