i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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