Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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