her vagine was all disorganized.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
