thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
