i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
