Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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